What have I done with my life?

Today has been a rather depressing day.  I've been listening to audiobooks a lot at work and have recently realized that I haven't been much of an influence in the world.  I don't think I'm a very big influence in my kids' world.  I look around my house and don't even think I'm a very big influence in my own world.  How in the world do people make time to be an influence and still work, feed their families, take care of their homes, and teach their children?  I can barely stay on top of the bare minimum around here.  I keep thinking "In a few years when (Dale gets a new job, we make more money, we live closer to family, the kids get older and more responsible, I get more organized, I can stay at home,--fill in the blank) I'll be able to do the things I need to do AND the things I want to do."  Here I am, almost fifteen years into marriage and fourteen into motherhood and I feel more behind than ever and those 'ifs and whens' are still haunting me.  I have this feeling that I need to do something.  I just don't know what that something is.  I hate this feeling.  I feel like a failure.   Well, my room is a disaster and I've wasted fifteen minutes crying over my lack of progress in my life, so I better get up and clean.  "In a few years, when ________ I will have a clean house and I'll be someone and do something important."  For now, I guess I'll start with a clean room.